17/52

"A portrait of my baby boy, once a week, every week in 2014."

While Emmett was sick the last week +, we spent a lot of time finding creative ways to cheer him up. Water was the biggest hit. We took baths, ran through sprinklers, and turned the hose on and off and on and off again as many times as he wanted to keep a smile on his face. Sometimes he wore pants, other times he didn't. ;)

This week, I want to remember my Emmett happy, turning the hose on and smiling when he saw water. It was a rough, sick, croupy week, so the smiles, though rare, were really special.




P.S. Did you know Emmett is related to Abe, through his daddy's side? Honest! ;)

Currently.

Watching: "Whale moomie! Airpane moomie! Too too tain moomie! Meemo moomie!"Emmett has been pretty sick with croup-turned-awful cold since Thursday, so we've done a lot of snuggling up on the couch watching "moomies." He has a whale documentary on Netflix that he's obsessed with, so we watch that a lot. Then there's Airplanes, Thomas the Train (sooo annoying!), and Finding Nemo. I always ask for Nemo because it's the only one I can tolerate, but his favorite is always the whales. Poor little guy, he's been through a rough few days.

Listening to: Emmett's little cough, as he lays his head on my lap. He woke up with a croupy cough on Thursday, which lasted through Saturday. He's had pretty high fevers each night, topping out at 103 on Saturday night, and now he's got a bad chest cough and cold symptoms. He's a sad little boy today, tired of being sick. And Ray and I are worn out from being up in the night worrying about his fevers all weekend. We're heading to the doctor in an hour or so just to make sure his ears are clear and he's on the mend. We're all ready to get back to normal around here.

Thankful for: Good friends. The kind who send you a text out of the blue just to check on you when they know you're having a hard day. The kind who build you up and remind you that you're doing a good job when you're feeling low. The kind who share their homes and their dinner tables. Who stop by with a six-pack at the end of a long day to share a drink and listen to your troubles. We have really good friends.

And our hose. I'm thankful for our hose, for cheering up my sad sick little boy countless times this weekend. It's amazing what a little water can do to brighten a little boy's day.

I hope you had a beautiful weekend! As always, I'm linking up with the lovely ladies at A Mama Collective to bring you this week's Currently. I hope you'll join us!

A Mama Collective's Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | bloglovin'

Home Away from Home's Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | bloglovin'

If you are interested in co-hosting, please email Jenna at info(at)amamacollective(dot)com to get on the list!

Grab our button below:

Here’s the template for you to copy and paste and do a post as well — link up with us below!

Thinking about:

Reading:

Listening to:

Watching:

Thankful for:

An InLinkz Link-up

Weekend Inspiration

Try: This weekend the weather is supposed to cool down a little bit. I'm picturing cocktails in the back yard with my husband while Emmett plays before bed. I love anything with cucumber in it, and we have grapefruit growing in our side yard, so these grapefruit cucumber cocktails are the perfect drink to try!

Buy: Speaking of lounging in the back yard with a cocktail.. Ray and I have been toying with buying a hammock . I'm thinking it's time we go for it.

Make: I bought a pizza dough from Trader Joe's on Monday that we've yet to use, so tonight I'll ask Ray to grill a pizza for us. This one from Martha Stewart looks amazing. I'll probably add ricotta because I'm obsessed with ricotta. And maybe a little basil from our garden.

Bake: I want to be one of those moms who bakes bread. I love the smell of bread in the oven, and I love freshly baked bread so much. But I have to admit I'm intimidated. I think this weekend I'll start with a simple recipe like this one, and if it goes well, I'll try something a bit more labor intensive next time.

April 24, 2014

I made a cake to mark the passing of this day. My little Oliver's due date.

I wanted to do something to celebrate that little life we held for such a short time. So I baked a cake, and took my time on it. As I mixed the ingredients I thought about the baby I'll never get to hold in this life, waiting for me up in heaven. I'm sure there are tears mixed in with the batter. And I thought about this year, and everything our little family has been through.

My heart is full, even as it's breaking a little bit today. I miss that little baby, that tiny life that would have been. My head is spinning thinking about what our life would be like if I'd been able to carry him to term. We'd be expecting a baby any time now, folding tiny clothes and talking to Emmett about the little brother he's about to meet. I've cried so many tears thinking about all the things we're missing today. But I'm also grateful.

I'm grateful for my husband, who loves me unconditionally. Who stands by me and holds my hand and kisses my forehead for no reason at all. I'm thankful for my Emmett, who's all my dreams come true. That boy has filled my life to the brim. I miss my little Oliver, but my heart is full.

I'm so thankful God chose me to be his mama, even for just a few short weeks. He changed my life.

We planned a trip to the cemetery after Ray got home from work, but it seemed the world was against us. The freeway was closed, and our car wouldn't start (dead battery). I cried fat tears of disappointment. Then Ray said we should get up and go first thing Saturday morning. "He probably would have been born late anyway, like Emmett," he said with a smile and that brightened me right up. Ray was right, as always. It's not about today, it's about remembering our loss, our baby boy. It's about doing something as a family to show our Oliver that we haven't forgotten him, that we love him. So after a while, we charged the car and went for a burger.

When I woke up this morning, I was happy. It felt like a bright, new day, full of possibility and wonder. Emmett woke up with a croupy cough, so we didn't go to our friend's house to babysit like we do every Thursday. It was nice to have a day here at home, just Emmett and I, to play and just be together. I think that was a little gift from my Oliver.

16/52

"A portrait of my Emmett boy, once a week, every week in 2014."

The weather this week hasn't been half bad. It's been under 90 most afternoons, which is something to be excited about around these parts. So Emmett and I have spent our afternoons outside, soaking up all the good weather and shade we can get our hands on. This week, I want to remember my sweet little angel boy, hangin out in his little red tank in the afternoon shade. I can't get enough of him.

Currently: Easter Weekend

Thankful for: Peace. Confidence in the plan for our lives. The knowing in my heart that things are slowly getting better, falling into place. We've been through a crazy season the last year or so, full of unexpected turns and some heartbreak. A changing and growing season, and I'm thankful for that. But I'm thankful that life seems to be settling. And looking forward to our new normal.

Watching: Nashville! I started the pilot yesterday while Emmett was visiting his grandparents and I'm OBSESSED. I'm not even through the first episode yet but Connie Britton will forever be my favorite (Tami Taylor for life!) so I'm super super into it. Do y'all watch?

8:25 a.m. Waiting impatiently outside Emmett's door for him to wake up!

Our weekend: I woke up Friday morning with the worst sore throat of my life. Three hours later I cried every time I had to swallow and Emmett was looking at me with what resembled fear in his eyes so I left him with his grandmother and headed to urgent care. Apparently I had a sinus infection, which surprised me because I've yet to feel any congestion or sinus pressure, and two ear infections. I had no idea a throat could hurt that bad! Thank God for modern medicine. A few hours after taking my prescriptions, I was alllmost back to normal.

Saturday was one of those perfect days. Emmett woke up and ran straight for the sprinklers outside. I let him run around naked and it was bliss. We went to a friend's house for an impromptu Easter egg hunt. Emmett and the other kids played while we sat on the porch swinging and chatting. While Emmett napped, I snuck away to pick up Easter basket things. I almost never get to run errands by myself, so I was really excited. Target was an insane place the afternoon before Easter, but it was fun anyway. I had this perfect moment driving to Trader Joe's. The weather was beautiful, so I opened the windows and cranked up the radio. Neil Diamond came on (Holly Holy- takes me back to listening to the radio with my dad as a kid! Is anyone else really into Neil Diamond??) and.. I don't know, it was a good moment.

When Emmett woke up we dyed eggs. It was messy and silly and I loved it so much. I love traditions, and I love that Emmett is old enough now to sort of help and join in. I made this granola, and then Ray and I got ready to go out ON A DATE! We took a long bike ride to one of our favorite restaurants, and took our time with dinner and drinks. It was perfect, and a perfect ending to a really great day.

Can you guess who's is whose?

I know it's blurry, but it's RARE to get a picture of Ray smiling. :)

Sunday was more of the same. Family, friends, a warm day, and lots of bunny ears. I feel like I'm bragging- I'm sorry! It was just a great weekend, and we haven't had many of those lately with Ray being so busy with school and working on our condo. Things are good, and I'm happy.

Little booger figured out there was candy in the eggs so he sat down to eat and gave up on hunting!

I hope you had a beautiful weekend, and a wonderful, blessed Easter Sunday!

As always, I'm linking up with the lovely ladies at A Mama Collective to bring you this week's Currently. I hope you'll join us!

A Mama Collective's Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | bloglovin'

Home Away from Home's Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | bloglovin'

If you are interested in co-hosting, please email Jenna at info(at)amamacollective(dot)com to get on the list!

Grab our button below:

Here’s the template for you to copy and paste and do a post as well — link up with us below!

Thinking about:

Reading:

Listening to:

Watching:

Thankful for:

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter! From my family to yours. I hope your Easter has been a blessed one.

Weekend Inspiration

Try: I am not crafty. And Emmett isn't really old enough to get into dyeing eggs with me.. Right? But I'm determined to try, if only to keep the tradition alive in our family. We always dyed eggs when we were kids, and I want that for Emmett, too. And I can't resist adding glitter, if I'm going to be crafting anyway.. So I'll try to mimic these pretty eggs.

Buy: I know, I know, I keep talking about how tight money is. And it really is y'all. But again, I'm all about keeping up with family traditions, and that means Easter baskets. We played with these amazing fruit toys at a friend's house yesterday and Emmett was enthralled! He sliced those fruit and put them back together over and over again all day! That's a toy I want in our house. So I'm thinking instead of candy and a few small things, I'll pick this up for Emmett's basket.

Make: I'm a big, big fan of Thai rice and noodle dishes. I could eat them every night of the week, no problem. But I've never found a recipe I could make at home that really, truly hit the spot. I found this one on Pinterest and it looks amazing! I'm thinking I'll add chicken, and enjoy it with a cold beer and my husband in our backyard.

Bake: Have y'all seen Mary Beth's (of Annapolis & Company) insanely beautiful recipe series on The Wiegands? I drool over every recipe, and every photo. Mary Beth is my food photography hero. This recipe in particular looks so easy to make, and I know Emmett will scarf that peanut butter granola down so fast at snack time. I can't wait to bake some tomorrow! I might even let him help. ;)

Have a wonderful weekend, and a Blessed Easter!

15/52

"A portrait of my little, once a week, every week in 2014."

 I love that focused face he makes. When he works on a puzzle, or plays with blocks, or stacks his stacking toys, he gets so serious, so into it. I can see him concentrating hard, see the wheels turning. He spends a lot of time running around the house, pushing cars around saying "broom broom" and asking to watch a whale movie (he loves whales y'all.) But a couple of times a day he'll quiet down and concentrate on a task, and I sneak up quiet as a mouse to catch a glimpse of that sweet, focused little face.

This week, I want to remember him surrounded by toys in his playroom, working hard to stack his cups in the right order so they stay put. Wearing the world's cutest expression. Also, his hair is parted, which is a major dream come true for me!

Currently.

Dreaming of: A table full of family. I'm picturing loud, messy meals around our dinner table, children fighting and laughing, Ray and I overwhelmed and exhausted, but smiling at each other over the family we've created. This is my dream.

We had a friend over for dinner last night with his three kids. We made spaghetti and bought a loaf of garlic bread. By the time dinner was over, the bread was gone and that made me so happy. As I took the bread dish from the table I giggled and said to Ray, "Isn't this dreamy?! A whole loaf of bread eaten. One day we'll have that." God willing.

^^Emmett loved it too. :)

Thankful for: Comments from readers. Just when i was beginning to doubt my love for this space, kind comments started pouring in from readers old and new. Uplifting, reassuring comments from friends-in-the-making that really made me feel good about opening my life up on this blog. So thank you!

Watching: Everything on HBO Go. Game of Thrones is back! And Veep! That show is so hilarious. There's also a new show called Silicon Valley that hooked us with the first episode. I found myself wanting to watch more during the week, so I'm hoping that lasts.

Last night I put Emmett to bed and came into the living room where my husband was perched on the couch, remote in hand with an excited smile on his face. "Ready to watch some awesome tv?!" he said, and it was hard to let him down, but it was nearly 8 and I was tired. So to bed I went, leaving him less-than-broken-hearted with his other favorite show, Vikings. Have any of you seen that yet? Ray started it without me so I haven't watched it, but he wants me to catch up with him.

Pondering: My husband told me the other day that I'm dramatic (read:crazy) 25% of the month (read:period.) I was just glad to hear he thinks I'm normal the other 75% of the time. The older I get, the more I realize that my hormones control me. Okay, control is a strong word. They influence my life more than ever before. I feel the ups and downs throughout the month in a big way. Since having Emmett, but even more since Oliver. I need to figure out how to get a handle on that. Or maybe it's just a mother's lot?

Making up for: I sent Emmett to pre-school this morning in dirty shorts. I boycotted housework this weekend (Do you ever do that? Please tell me you do...), so I made myself clean the kitchen before I could have my coffee this morning. Next I plan to sweep and vacuum, do all the laundry, and pick up the back yard. And work, because I am superwoman. (NOT.)

I hope you had a lovely weekend! As always, I'm linking up with the lovely ladies at A Mama Collective to bring you this week's Currently. I hope you'll join us!

A Mama Collective's Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | bloglovin'

Home Away from Home's Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | bloglovin'

Me with The Three's Blog | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram | bloglovin'

If you are interested in co-hosting, please email Jenna at info(at)amamacollective(dot)com to get on the list!

Grab our button below:

Here’s the template for you to copy and paste and do a post as well — link up with us below!

Thinking about:

Reading:

Listening to:

Watching:

Thankful for:

An InLinkz Link-up