Monday, September 9, 2013

Working Mom Gets Her Wish

Linking up with Corinna, keeping it real as real gets.

I've complained enough about work on this blog for ya'll to know that I've struggled a lot with work this Summer. This year, really. I struggle every day with leaving Emmett at home with someone else for most of his day, and most days it's been really hard.

Ray and I have talked and talked about what to do, if anything. We needed my income, so I had to work, but I've been desperate for some other way to make it work. Some way to be able to spend more time with Emmett while still helping to provide for my family. We thought and prayed and struggled through each day, but no solution presented itself.

Then a couple of weeks ago I started spotting, and thought I was losing my baby. I called in to work and let my boss know, and he told me to take a few days off to rest, they would all pitch in and take care of my work for me. I took three days off, and then headed to Georgia for Labor Day weekend. When I came back to work last week, my boss called me in to a meeting to tell me they were cutting my hours back from 40+ to 20 hours a week. They said they needed to save money, and I guess they realized while I was gone that they could survive without me. After the shock wore off, I found myself feeling totally relieved. I felt the stress and pressure I'd been dealing with all Summer just lift off my shoulders, and I relaxed, for the first time in months. This was an answer to prayer.

I told Ray and he and his family jumped in to action. They looked at our house and the comps in the neighborhood and realized that we can sell it, after years of being under water, for what my husband paid for it. My in-laws offered to let us move in with them to save money until we decide what to do next. Not ideal, but definitely do-able for a time. We felt peaceful by the end of the day, and I still felt relieved.

Things still seem to be pretty weird at work and there is a lot to work out, but I hope in the end this all ends up being a blessing in disguise. Already I've loved spending my afternoons at home with Emmett, and I've been able to rest and take care of myself while we try to figure out if baby number 2 is going to be okay.

I've been going to the doctor for blood work every couple of days, and so far my HCG levels continue to rise, so little baby seems to be doing okay. We have an ultrasound on Friday, and I'm desperately looking forward to seeing that tiny little heartbeat. My spotting turned to full-on bleeding over the weekend so it's been hard not to panic and worry and stress, but I feel peaceful too. I have faith that God gave me this little baby for a reason, and I know He's taking care of us.

The thing is, as I sit here tonight, very obviously coming down with a cold, pregnant and bleeding and half as employed as I was last week, I feel peace. I should feel discouraged, under attack, and anxious. There is fear, and worry, and hurt and so much still to be determined, but mostly there is peace.

I know everything will turn out as it's supposed to, and I know I would do anything for my family, and for this little tiny baby struggling to grow inside me. I am a wife, and a mother, and that's all I ever wanted to be.


3 comments:

  1. So happy to hear you get to spend more time at home! Jason and I made a decision for me to only work part time and it is the greatest blessing. We've definitely made sacrifices and budget cuts to our life, but spending time with Ted is priceless and worth every sacrifice. Still praying for you...will definitely step it up for your ultrasound!

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  2. Oh we are just so often in the exact same place. I think the peace you feel is a very, very good indicator that you're on the right track. It really does always work out. I felt this way when I found out we were pregnant with Celeste (Kemi was traveling then of course) and had no idea how to handle it. Relax and enjoy the time with Emmett and baby #2, because those baby days are fleeting!

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  3. Congrats on Baby #2 Annie! Sounds like our babies are only a few weeks apart. I'm sorry the first few weeks have been so scary and stressful! Just wanted you to know that Mark and I will be praying for peace and protection for you and the baby.

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