On Weaning, And Working (Blah Blah Blah)

Silly boy!

Tonight, as I sat perched on the edge of the toilet, both hands holding Emmett's waist while fighting to keep him sitting in the bath (all of our keep-baby-in-the-bath apparatuses are failing us these days), he launched himself over the side of the tub and landed face-first in the pile of shampoos and conditioners and body washes I'd previously removed to limit distractions. You know, to help keep him sitting in the bath. 

We LOVE straws y'all.

He screamed and cried and I scooped him up and hugged his little wet self to my chest and wrapped him in a towel. He laid his little head on my shoulder and we sat in the rocking chair in his room and settled in for a minute (or two!) of snuggles while he calmed down. My sister (Emmett's live-in babysitter) heard the commotion and came to see what was going on. When Emmett saw her, he cried out and he REACHED for her. Not for me. For HER.

Do ya'll hear that? The sound of big fat (metaphorical) tears hitting the floor and all of my fears being confirmed in one heart-wrenching heart-breaking heart-crushing moment? All this is to say that (cue even more melodrama!) leaving my baby at home each day to go to work is ruining his life (and mine)!

Okay, maybe not ruining. But I mean come on it really feels like it sometimes! I know my baby loves me best, I know he knows I'm his mama and 99.99% of the time he prefers me over everyone else, but that one time when he didn't was just too much.

So what am I to do? I have to work. I have to. (See how I'm saying that mostly to convince myself?) So I guess all there is to do is get used to it. Suck it up. Learn to love it? Nope, that's taking it too far.

I called my dad crying and crying one day, at my wits end and wanting him to fix it for me. I wanted him to know I was in pain and to fix it. Instead, he called me out. (Thanks Dad!) He said my attitude was awful, that women all over the world leave their children to go to work every day. That I was living in self-induced misery, always complaining and wishing things were different, and I was letting  my bad attitude run my life. I was driving my husband and my friends and everyone crazy and I needed to change my attitude. He was right. He told me the only way to fix my situation is to embrace it. To find ways to enjoy it. And to pray that God will change my circumstances in time.

And so I did. And do, every day. But sometimes (about every two weeks or so..) it all builds up and I just miss my baby so much and I just want to be home with him so much. So I stress and I cry and then I do my best to let it go.

Meanwhile, on weaning:

This weekend Ray and I are leaving Emmett behind for four days to go to a friend's wedding in San Diego. Did you catch that? LEAVING EMMETT BEHIND for four days. Four days. That's not really all that long, right?

My mom is flying in tomorrow to help keep Emmett while we're gone, since Lucia is flying home to Georgia to take her finals on Wednesday. My mom will take great care of him and she's so excited to have some time alone with him for once. She flies home on Sunday and Emmett will go stay with my Mother-In-Law Sunday and Monday. So of course he'll be taken care of. And I'm sure the whole thing will be harder on me than on him. At least I hope so.

And y'all, Ray and I need a break (I hate saying that- how could a mama need a break from her baby, who she misses all the time??). Some time together. And some SLEEP. I'm really looking forward to the sleep.

But Emmett wakes up at least twice a night, and he won't go to sleep until I come in and hold him and rock him and nurse him. I know that's something I could fix if I tried really hard but to be honest, as tired as I am ALL THE TIME, I love that time together at night. I don't get to breastfeed during the day so.. Anyway why am I trying to explain this to y'all. It is what it is. Will my mom be able to get him back to sleep? Will they both be up all night and miserable and tired the whole time I'm gone?

And then there's the milk issue. I've been working so hard for months, knowing this trip was coming, to put as much milk as possible in the freezer. I've pumped and I've pumped but in the end I only have about 11 bottles. Baby boy has 5-7 bottles (or bf sessions) a day, which means I'm like... 2 and a half days short. And so...... formula.

I hoped I would never have to give him formula. I know it's not a big deal, I know so many mothers give their babies formula for so many different reasons, and I think that's great. But I set a goal to breastfeed exclusively until Emmett was 1, or until he showed signs of wanting to wean (he hasn't), and now I feel like I'm failing. I know, I know. I know I'm not failing. I'm proud of myself for making it this long feeding him breast milk exclusively while working full time, but it FEELS like I'm failing.

The point to all of this:

My life is hard! My life is harder than all the lives!

Okay, maybe not ALL the lives..

Kiwanis Park

Totally unrelated to this post:
Kellie Barney is the Facebook winner of our giveaway! Congrats Kellie, on winning and also the birth of your beautiful new baby boy!
 .....

Sometimes in the evenings we get restless, before dinner and the lengthy bedtime routine, so we hop in the car and go to the park. Emmett loves to be outside, and the fresh air and sunshine work wonders in the meltdown-prevention department. There's a great park just down the street with a big lake, ducks, a playground, endless grass to play in and try to eat, and lots of people and dogs to watch.

Last Saturday evening, we were all feeling a little bit worn out, so the park was calling our names. It's already getting so hot here in Arizona (the weatherman says 100 this week!), so we did our best to stay out of the sun. We had such a nice time walking around the lake until the inevitable pre-bedtime meltdown cut our trip short. We're doing our best to enjoy the outdoors before the temperature spikes to 115 and we dread leaving our house!

Happy boy on the way into the park..

Baby's favorite toy! (Especially with Bagel on the other end..)

Dropped leash + tired baby = meltdown of the century.

Bagel LOVES the park.

Can you spot the baby duck? 

Photos From My {Real} Camera

I grabbed my "real" camera Sunday as we headed out the door for brunch. I almost never bring it along because my iPhone is always with me, but I need to take better pictures! So after brunch and an impromptu hike, I came home and downloaded all of the photos from my camera. Why didn't I do this sooner! There are so many great pictures from Christmas in Georgia with my family, photos from our first time at the Phoenix Zoo with Emmett, and so many more! I picked out a few of my favorites to share with you here:

Little Santa! Christmas, 2012

Those eyes, those hands, those ears!

With Aunt Lucia at the Phoenix Zoo!

Baby boy loves trees y'all.

We Have A Winner!

Our first lucky giveaway winner is....

 

Lauren Eggers! 

 

Lauren, please send me an email (annakate25 @ gmail.com) with your contact info to collect your prize!

We will be announcing the second winner tomorrow! Nicole is going to choose the second winner from Facebook.

Thanks for playing!

Sunday Morning Hike!

On Sunday morning we got up early with the baby, so we decided to get up and go out for an early Sunday brunch. During the week I usually grab a nutrition bar on my way out the door, so we love to eat really well on the weekends. Our weekend breakfasts tend to be our favorite meals of the week!

Baby boy LOVES being outside, so we always sit on the patio when we go out!

So happy eating some of mama's potatoes! See those little teeth?

After breakfast we decided to take a quick hike up A Mountain, since we were at a restaurant just across the street. I love this hike because it's short and intense, and the view of Tempe from the top is so awesome, especially at sunset! Sun Devil Stadium is built into the side of the mountain, so it's a famous ASU landmark! Here we are about halfway up (this mama needed a break..so out of shape...) :

Emmett seemed to love being on the mountain. There were airplanes flying overhead the whole time, so he was pretty much in heaven. We had such a good time, maybe we'll try to take family hikes more often! Next time I'll wear the proper shoes though...

The "A" for which A Mountain is named!

Can you tell by the double Wubbanubs that we were cutting into Emmett's morning nap?

Pretty cactus, beside the trail.

PS, don't forget to enter my giveaway! Tomorrow is the last day. :)

NikJDesigns on Etsy

For my first giveaway, I have teamed up with Nicole from NikJDesigns to give one custom fabric bucket to two lucky readers! 

I found this super cute Etsy shop a while back on my friend Morgan's blog, where she uses her large bucket to hold towels in her bathroom (so smart!). I loved Morgan's bucket, so I decided to work with Nicole to design a few for Emmett's nursery. She is so sweet and so fun to work with. We use our buckets to hold diapers, wipes, onesies, toiletries.. you name it! I love our buckets so much, I even used them for Easter baskets this year! 

To enter, follow this blog (click the "Join this site" button on the right side of this page), visit  the NikJDesigns Etsy shop, and leave a comment below telling me which fabric you will choose if you win! You can enter once a day! I will choose a winner on Friday using your comment number (1st to comment is #1, 2nd is #2, etc) using this random number generator.

For a chance to win a second basket (!!!), like Nicole's Facebook page, and share my post about the giveaway on your timeline as many times as you want!

GOOD LUCK!

And the winner is:

Lauren Eggers!

Lauren, shoot me an email (annakate25 @ gmail.com)for instructions on how to collect your basket!

A Giveaway!!!

I'm hosting my very first giveaway this week, and I'm so excited! I have teamed up with Nicole from NikJDesigns to giveaway a custom fabric bucket! Come back tomorrow for details! 

Baby Cheeks!

For your viewing pleasure (you're welcome!):

Aaaaand one more:

Bloglovin

I just joined Bloglovin! Have you heard of it? It's a great way to keep up with all of the blogs you love to read. You can follow my blog here: 
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Here's a funny Vine video of Emmett's new favorite game....!

Catch Up: iPhone Edition

The last couple of weeks, according to my iPhone:

Poor baby Emmett. Last Friday his top two teeth started cutting through his gums, and we thought that was pretty sad and hard. And then he had a fever Saturday night through Tuesday morning, and we thought that was hard. And then Wednesday he had a mean rash all over his body and THAT was awful. We went to the doctor on Monday for his 9 month check up, and the doctor assured us the fever was nothing to worry about- just a side effect of the teething. They gave him his shots anyway, poor little thing. Turns out she was totally wrong. I took one look at that rash and rushed him to the doctor. Diagnosis: Roseola Virus (probably picked up at a previous doctor visit). Yuck.

Finally on Friday he was back to his normal happy self. He was sleeping so well before all of this started, but that's definitely out the window. He's doing a little bit better every night, but we are tired y'all.

I just wanted to show y'all Emmett's hairs. He only has a few, so we really love each one dearly. Little boy really didn't stand a chance- both Ray and I were bald until we were toddlers- so we're surprised he has even this much hair. And those ears y'all. They slay me!

The good news is, after all that, we have teeth! Two little tiny perfectly white sharp-as-knives teeth! It's almost impossible to catch them in a photo, but they're impossible to miss when we're breastfeeding. I miss his perfect little gummy smile, but I have to admit, these teeth I was dreading so much are really growing on me.

There's really nothing in the world quite like waking up to this sweet face every morning. He's the sweetest softest warmest most wonderful boy in the morning. And Oh My Goodness he's handsome!

Last week was Master's week in Augusta. Besides Christmas, this is probably the week I miss home the most. The whole town is buzzing with excitement and activity, and there's nowhere on earth quite like the Augusta National Golf Course in April. It's beautiful. So anyway we spent a good chunk of the weekend glued to the tv watching golf, and Emmett even seemed like he liked it. We were pretty happy with the outcome too, because good lawd Adam Scott is good looking.

On Saturday Ray had homework and Lucia was busy with a friend, so Emmett and I decided to go shopping. I bought a pair of shorts that actually fit and Emmett crawled around in the dressing room and laughed at himself in the mirror. I really love that he loves looking at himself. It's really cute.

While we were out we stumbled upon a splash pad, so we went home to get Ray and Emmett's swim trunks and went back to play. Emmett watched all the other kids play for a while before he trusted the water, but once he got comfortable he loved it! I'm so glad we found this place- it will be such a life saver during the ultra hot Summer, which is practically upon us here in AZ. We played for a while, then dried Emmett off and changed his clothes (in public!) and even snuck in a beer and some Irish nachos at one of our favorite Happy Hour stops. Such a fun afternoon!

Then Sunday we spent the afternoon at our Parish Church Festival. It was so much fun! My wonderful mother-in-law offered to keep baby boy at her house (right next to the church) while he napped (she must have read this post!), so Ray and I had a great time catching up with friends and enjoying really yummy food.

Hat on..

Hat off!

Tonight after work everyone was tired and hungry so we opted to go out for happy hour rather than grocery shop, cook, clean up, etc. We met some friends at a restaurant and sat out on the patio, which is one of our favorite things to do when the weather starts to get hot. Evenings are cool and the sunsets here are so gorgeous, so we love to have dinner outdoors.

So there we are, all caught up!