Thursday, November 21, 2013

I Want To Be Good

This morning I was hit, out of the blue, by a deep, strong conviction. I became suddenly aware of a situation where I failed to be Jesus to someone I love. This person was hurting, and alone, and needed the people in his life to show him love and to be there for him, and I failed. At the time, I told myself that if he wanted to talk about it, he would. If he needed me, he would let me know. But that was a lie and I think I knew it then too. He needed me, but I wasn't there for him.

I never want to make that mistake again. I want to be the one who always comes through for people. I want to show people love. To show them Jesus. I want to be love to the people in my life. I want to encourage people, to make them feel strong and beautiful and important. I want to build people up and make people happy.

I've always wanted to be a source of love for people. It has been a desire of my heart for as long as I can remember. I want to be only a positive influence in the lives of those around me. I want everyone I meet to leave feeling better than they did before we met. It's a weight on my heart, and today I was reminded of this in a big, big way.

Each day in the late afternoon, when we're all tired and hungry and waiting for dinner, I find myself frustrated. Emmett is fussy and hungry and just wants me to hold him. Mama mama mama mama all the time. I get frustrated and I show it to him. Every day I struggle with that and every day I fail. I never want him to see me frustrated or annoyed. I want him to see only love when he looks at me. Every day.

I want to be better. I want to be only good. Only love. I want to radiate love. I want to radiate Jesus to everyone I come in contact with. That starts at home, with my sweet, innocent, gentle and kind baby boy. With my husband, who usually sees the worst of me after every long day. It starts with my family. Today I feel a conviction to be better, to love more, and to start right here, where it matters the most. Jesus, help me to love more, to be better, to show your love. Help me to be love to everyone I meet.


6 comments:

  1. Well this made me tear up. Beautifully written and such a great message. We should all strive to be more like Jesus everyday and to be a source of love and life in all we meet :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love you Rachel! Help me to be a better friend to you and to love you better!

      Delete
  2. Ugh. I needed to read this today. I've been struggling with the same thing lately, I have such a hard time being tolerant of others and I try to remind myself constantly to be more patient and understanding. Gotta get some 'a that conviction you got there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carolyn- it's probably just all of those pregnancy hormones! Don't be so hard on yourself- those hormones aren't playing around! ;)

      Delete
  3. What a beautiful post. I agree with the things you've expressed. It seems we serve the most in our own homes & that is our most important work. My children are grown now. I remember feeling some of the things you wrote about. But {as I'm sure you've heard} it all goes SO fast! Don't blink! The world needs more wonderful, kind, caring women like you!

    Warmly, MIchelle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Michelle! I appreciate your kind words and your perspective! It's good to be reminded that time flies, so I can remember to cherish these years and just pour love out to my family. Thanks for reading!

      Delete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...