Friday, March 28, 2014

Blessings


My friend and her husband are trying to have a baby. She had a miscarriage a few months back and yearns to be pregnant again. I know the feeling.

When she otld me today that the period she thought she missed finally reared it's ugly head this morning, I knew how much she was hurting. I know that agony. That wishing and hoping, that longing deep in your heart, that waiting all month with bated breath, only to be let down. I know what it is to feel frustrated, discouraged, sad at your core. To feel deflated and ready to give up each month, all the while knowing that you never will.

I wanted to hug my friend, and to encourage her. I told her not to be discouraged. That I know in my heart that her time will come. That she will be a mother soon. That God has a beautiful plan for her. I wanted to give her the same advice my dad always gives me: We have to step out in faith, act in faith, do our part and know, feel and know with all our hearts that God will bless us and give us the desires of our hearts. The desires that He has laid on our hearts and wants to fulfill. He wants to bless us and love us, we just have to let Him. And to have faith.

I know the truth of that in my heart. I know that it's true for her. So why is it so hard to believe for myself? Each month when the tests come back negative and I'm fighting back tears, why don't I reach for that knowing, that safe place of faith and hope for the good things and blessings that are sure to come? Why do I linger in sadness and disappointment, rather than leaning on those same encouraging words that I give my friend?

There's a lesson in there for me. I believe that everything, every single tiny little thing, happens for a reason. I know that my friend leans on me because God is urging her to, because she blesses me so much just by talking to me about what she's going through. He's using her to teach me, to help me to grow in my own faith.

My dad told me this week that God's blessings are like low-hanging fruit. They are there within reach, ripe for the picking. We just have to step out in faith, to ask God to bless us. We just have to reach up and grab them. So why do I settle for scraps?

4 comments:

  1. I just got all caught up on my blogs and read this post. I know that feeling and how frustrating it can be every month. Praying for you and the blessing of another baby!

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  2. Ah, friend :( My heart aches for you. My best friend is in the thick of an infertility battle. It just hurts.

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    1. Thank you Sarah! I can't complain too much really, I have friends who've been struggling with infertility for years. It's only been months for me, and I can't even say it's infertility. I know God has a plan and so I trust in His timing. And I know that stress affects my body and my hormones, so I'm just working on letting go of stress and creating peace in our life. The waiting isn't fun, but it's good for us. :)

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