So close!

3 weeks left! Just 3 little bitty weeks! It's really hard to believe this little journey of ours is almost over, and the beginning of a new, BIG journey is about to begin. But I want ya'll to all feel sorry for me- this weekend began on Friday with a temperature of 113 degrees! Yeah, 113 degrees on June 1st. This is going to be one hell of a summer.

I'm sort of all over the place with my emotions. I'm dying for this baby to come, but I'm also overwhelmed by everything we need to do before he gets here. I'm sure this is normal. We are THIS CLOSE to finished with the kitchen. In fact, Ray promised me this morning that it would be done today. He and his mom (who is amazing!) have spent every minute of the past few weekends, and some nights after work, putting the kitchen back together. I wish I could say I've been a big help too, but mostly I just get in the way for a few minutes at a time, then head back to the couch to lay down to try to ease the pain in my ribs and back. It's frustrating feeling so useless, but I just keep telling myself that I'm doing the best I can, and I won't be this pregnant forever. Luckily my husband is an angel and doesn't mind doing pretty much everything for me, without any complaints!

I've been working full time all the way through my pregnancy, and plan to continue up until I go into labor. I'm in the middle of the busiest season of the year at my job, so I'm trying to do everything I can to get organized and ready for my maternity leave. After the baby is born I'll take a couple weeks to relax with him, and then I'll work from home for about a month. I'm really lucky to have a great boss and a job that allows me some flexibility. I'm definitely nervous about getting back to work after the baby's born- I know I'll just want to be with him every second, but Ray will be home with me for the full 6 weeks, so he'll be a big help. Isn't that amazing? He get's 6 weeks paid paternity leave. It's unheard of.

After our 6 weeks are up, I'll go back to work full time. I'll be able to bring baby with me some days, and I should be able to work from home some. The rest of the time we plan on sending him to daycare. This really breaks my heart, but I feel like as long as we keep it to just a couple days a week, I'll be able to handle it. I am already imagining many tear-filled mornings after I drop him off. It's just something we have to do.

My parents will be here for the birth, which is really really wonderful for me. My mom will be such a big help, during the delivery and after, and my dad will be such a calming presence for me. I know that just having him there, waiting and praying, will make me feel safe and worry free. I would really love it if all my brothers and sisters could come too- if I was giving birth in Georgia I know they'd all be there, waiting to meet their new nephew! It would be so wonderful to be able to introduce my little boy to his aunts and uncles (whoa that's weird!), and for them to be a part of such a big event in my life. But it's expensive and a lot to ask for all 6 of them to fly out, without being certain when he will be born. I'd hate for them to come, only to have to leave again without having him yet. But it does make me sad knowing that they'll miss his first few days. We'll just have to Skype like crazy!

Life has been so busy and crazy these last few weeks. In my mind I had hoped that the last few weeks of my pregnancy would be easy and relaxing. I'd imagined Ray and I spending a lot of time together before we're never just the two of us again, but it's not really working out that way. We're spending time together, but it's time spent working on the house and talking about the baby and all the things still left to do. That's okay though. I am really looking forward to our time at home together as a family, getting to know our new little boy and just being together all the time. It sounds too good to be true!

I'm beginning to get emotional thinking about meeting this baby for the first time. I have a hard time picturing him, and imagining what our life will be like once he's here. I still think of him as a part of me, and it's hard to think of him as a little person- an actual, real baby. My baby. I just can't wait to see him and touch him and hold him for the first time. I'm not very emotional or sentimental normally, but I have a feeling motherhood is going to change that. Yesterday I tried to read him a little Dr. Seuss book that you're meant to read to babies in the womb. Ray found me sitting in the middle of the nursery sobbing like a weirdo and reading to my belly. I can't imagine how silly I must have looked to him. He's sweet though, so he just sat down next to me and hugged me while I finished reading. I remember seeing my friends in the few days after they had their first baby's, and I was always struck by how much love they seemed to exude. They all seemed so happy, so in love, and SO emotional. I guess that's just the way it goes.

Here are a few little pictures from my shower a while back. It was such a sweet day- my friend Rachel worked so hard to make it special for me. She even included sweet little details from our wedding. I was so touched!

These little tags were a detail taken from our wedding- Rachel's brother Tim is really good at calligraphy, so he wrote out all the table numbers for us. Rachel had him make these for the shower.

More little tags to write our names on. 

Tim also made this sweet little sign, with a quote from the blog. It's in the nursery now!

Gifts from our registry. I have such sweet friends!

These are the cutest little animal cupcake tags that my mom found. So sweet!

Alright ya'll, I'm off to pitch in with the kitchen. I know I've said it before, but next time I WILL have pictures of the finished product to show you. Until then!

34 Weeks

I'm struggling ya'll.

There's so much they don't tell you about pregnancy. Watching other women do it, I've always thought of pregnancy as.. sweet, beautiful, and even glamorous! (I know, what a dummy..) Women make pregnancy look easy, but sometimes it's NOT easy. Sometimes, it's downright hard!

I had a shower on Saturday, which was so so fun and very sweet. I have really great friends. Afterwards Ray and I went with my sweet photographer friend Christina to the Phoenician Resort in Scottsdale to take some maternity photos! It was such a great day, and I felt so good! I had plenty of energy, and even though it was hot out, I didn't mind one bit.
And then on Sunday, I. Was. Exhausted. Like, can't-get-out-of-bed-to-get-to-the-couch tired. I felt so awful and worn out and hardly did a thing. Monday was even worse. I went to work not feeling very well, and by 10 a.m. I melted into an emotional breakdown of EPIC proportions. I was crying at my desk for no reason at all, and just couldn't get it together. I left work and went to Ray's parents' house to nap and chill out (there are still men at my house working in our kitchen...), and never felt better all day.

The pain in my ribs is only getting worse, and spreading, so I'm not sleeping much and just don't feel well pretty much all the time. I'm trying to make the best of it, but it's hard to be happy and upbeat when you're in constant pain. My poor husband. I'm trying to remember to keep my joy at the forefront of my mind, and I just keep telling myself that soon, really soon, I won't be pregnant any more and I'll have a sweet little boy to love. But sometimes I give in to misery, and that makes me feel guilty, which only hurts my mood even more. I guess motherhood is a delicate thing, wrought with emotions, and not for the faint of heart.

Anyway, enough complaining. I only have 6 weeks left till our due date, and that's really no time at all. I have the sweetest husband who surprises me with kindness every day. I have really wonderful friends who do things like throw me parties to celebrate my little one, and shower me with gifts to help me feel prepared. I have support from so many amazing moms who are so open and willing to share their wisdom. I have so much to be thankful for and to be happy about! I can handle a little (not so little) pain. I'm stronger than it is, and I'll get through this tough time. And I know that once I have my little monkey in my arms, I'll forget all about the pain and discomfort, and it will all have been worth it, a million times over.

Here's a little preview from our Maternity shoot, thanks to our dear friend Christina at Christina Lafferty Photography! (This will have to serve as my 8 months photo, since our kitchen is still in shambles, and so is the rest of the house..)

Nursery!

It's been a busy few weeks- I was in Georgia with my family for a couple weeks, then flew home and went right to work the next day. I've been having a lot of pain in my ribs for a few weeks now (apparently just my muscle tearing away from my ribs.. nothing to worry about!), and it's become pretty constant since I came back to AZ. I think after a long day of flying and then going right to sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day, I put my body through an awful lot and it hasn't really recovered. I don't expect this pain to go away until this baby is born, so I'm just working on getting used to it.

While I was gone Ray and his mom did some work in our bedroom. When Ray moved in, the previous owner left him a really special gift- floor to ceiling mirror tiles in the master bedroom! It was pretty creepy, so Ray finally took those down, retextured the wall, and painted the whole room a really soothing, cool grey. He also took off our enormous, ugly closet doors and painted the ceiling, and installed a ceiling fan. Right on time too, as this mama has been swelling up like a balloon any time the temperature goes above 75 degrees. It was so nice to come home to a brand-new, fresh and clean bedroom.

We've also been doing a lot of work on the nursery. I wish I'd taken before photos, but suffice it to say it was a tiny little room filled with junk and not cute in the least. We've painted the walls a neutral grey, put a fresh coat of white paint on the ceiling, trim, and closet, took down closet doors. I thought for a while about painting one of the walls with bold grey and white stripes, but then realized that I had just bought a shower curtain for the guest bath that would make perfect curtains for the nursery. So, I bought another panel (or, another shower curtain, rather). We spent some time trying to figure out the best way to hang them, and in the end resigned ourselves to buying a simple silver shower rod with small silver rings. It isn't ideal, but we like it fine for now.

The next thing we bought was the crib and changing table (Thanks Mom and Dad!!). I searched for some time for a little rug to bring some color into the room. I'd been eyeing the one we bought for a few weeks, and then one day I found it on super sale at One King's Lane. I was a little nervous about buying a fairly expensive item on a daily deals site, but after reading my friend Morgan's blog about purchasing her new rug, I decided to go for it! (Thanks Morgan!) I really love the rug, even though it feels like it doesn't totally fit in with the rest of the room.

View of the window from the doorway.

I'm still searching for the perfect crib sheets, but we found these at Ikea
the other night and decided they'll do for now.

All baby's crib friends. Just missing a giraffe!

Changing table from Ikea. When he get's bigger the changing table
comes off, leaving shelves

Bagel's favorite part of the nursery!

Closet view. We still have some work to do to organize
the closet better and add some storage.

Little shelves to display books.

One more little shelf.

A shower gift!

These little fabric buckets are one of my favorite things in the nursery. I had them custom
made from a shop on etsy that I found, again, on Morgan's blog.

My three favorite things in the nursery- my cloth diaper collection, the sweetest elephant king print from  the trafalgarssquare shop on etsy (found on sale at zulily.com!), and the cutest little hamper anyone's ever seen!

Baby's first shoes!

There's still work to be done- I have lots of things to hang on the walls, and a glider chair that needs recovering- but it's coming together rather nicely and we are really pleased! I'm hoping to have it completed in the next couple weeks, in case this little man decides to come along early!

This is the state of our kitchen at the moment. Hopefully next time I post the major/minor remodel that's in the works will be finished, and I'll have all the before and after photos to show you!

I owe you an 8 months (32 weeks) photo, but everything that belongs in our kitchen is spread all over the house, so I can't quite get to the spot where we always take my belly shots. Instead, here's an awful little pic of me and my big belly to tide you over: