Bath Time

When he was about 11 weeks old, Emmett started going down for the night promptly at 6:30 pm, every night. Of course he woke up a hundred times in the night (still does, most nights), but he never wavered on his 6:30 bedtime. This was so hard on me while I worked full-time. I would come home at 5:30, rush to give him dinner and a bath and a few short minutes of playtime before he started to melt down and we had to get him ready for bed. So hard! Until a couple of weeks ago.

One recent night he wanted to stay in his bath longer than normal. He was playing so happily that I just let him stay up, and each night since then he's been the happiest little boy in the evenings and stays up a full hour later than he always has. It's been so much fun! We linger in the bath, take long walks after dinner, and he runs around laughing and playing before we finally take him to bed.

Bedtime is another thing that's changed lately- Since he was born, I've always rocked and nursed him to sleep. I know they say you aren't supposed to, but I had such little time with him each day that I needed that special time with him each night, so I did it anyway. I'm glad I did because those are some of the sweetest moments we've had together, cuddled up and warm in his rocking chair, saying our prayers before bed.

Now we're working on weening him, so we slowly cut out the nursing and rocking at night. He fought me for a few weeks but now when we head to his room each night, we say his prayers and he just leans his head back towards his crib while I hold him, letting me know he's ready to lie down and go to sleep. It's peaceful and sweet and he's just such a good boy, I almost can't handle it! He's been sleeping so much better, even through the night a few times this week (!!!!!), so we are all really loving the later bedtime!

So now each night he takes really long baths. I sit on the floor next to him the whole time and he just plays and plays and chats with me. It's so much fun and I know I'll always remember these night as some of the most fun times we've spent together so far. I take tons of pictures and videos and send them to my family so they can see him so happy and funny. It's awesome!

Our Child is a Terrorist

Don't freak out everyone, he's not really a terrorist. Unless you're his mom, or his dad. Then he's definitely a terrorist.

This last week, Emmett started throwing tantrums. Insane, loud, ugly, mean, nasty, day-long tantrums. We have no idea where they came from, but they are here y'all, and they are crazy! When he wants me to pick him up, tantrum. When he wants me to put him down half a second later, tantrum. He used to sign "please" or "more" or "all done", but no more. Now it's just screams and screeches and flailing and more screams.

Since he started daycare last week, he's been super attached to me. "Mamamamama" all day, always wanting to be held, pulling on my shirt begging to be nursed (we're working so hard to wean him, but he's not having it). He wakes up 13 times a night just screaming/screeching and calling for me, then falls asleep again, so tired. Separation anxiety is the worst!

We spent the weekend trying to head off tantrums, taking him to a birthday party, to the park, to the splash pad, to the bookstore, just doing anything we could to keep him busy and distracted so he wouldn't yell at us. We're afraid of our own son! Okay that's a major exaggeration, but not really. He's terrifying right now.

I know he's just getting used to a new schedule, new people, new places. I took a lot of time off the last few weeks, so he's become used to me being home most of the time. He freaks out when I leave him, and even follows me into the bathroom. If I leave him at all, it's big fat tears and screams and flailing. It's so sad! He's just playing me though- as soon as I'm gone he's happy, playing with his toys or his friends until he sees me again. Then it's more screams and tears, just enough to punish me.

He's mostly really sweet and fun, but those tantrums are killing us! We've had a rough few weeks, and it's easy to forget that everything going on in our lives affects Emmett too. Poor little thing is just trying to figure it all out and get used to his new schedule. So am I, so I can't blame him!

Balloon obsessed at a friend's birthday party.

Warming up in the sun after running through the sprinkler.

Shivering at the splash pad!

Baby boy loves to be upside down these days. Whatever it takes!

The Red-Eye

Emmett and I are taking the red-eye to Georgia tonight, and I'm only just a little bit terrified. Here's the plan (what I have so far):

I'll put him to bed, as always, by 7. Once he's down, I'll finish packing our carry-on bag, get everything packed into the car, and take a few deep breaths. A little before 10, once everything else is ready to go, I'll turn off all the lights in the house, sneak in to Emmett's room, and oh-so-gently pick him up and carry him down to the car, white noise in hand. I want to avoid waking him at all costs, but I'm not sure if it's possible.

We'll drive to the airport, hopefully with Emmett sleeping soundly in the back seat. Once we're there, Ray will unload the car, pack the carseat up into a travel bag (ahem, black trash bag) so we can check it, and I will do my best to get Emmett into the ERGO I borrowed from Corinna. The ERGO is black, so I'm hoping that if he's still sleeping, the head cover will block out most of the light as we walk through the airport. I'll have to take him out for security, so he's bound to wake up then, but after that it's back in the ERGO, and a little discreet nursing will hopefully help him back to sleep.

Because it's an overnight flight, I'm hoping the airport will be relatively quiet, and the plane mostly empty. I'd love a full row to spread out in. I plan to only bring the necessities:

• Stroller
• Diapers
• Wipes
• A few easy changes of clothes
• A couple pairs of slip-on shoes in case he wants to walk
• Books
• Snacks
• A new toy and a new book
• A pillow, a blanket for me, and a couple of blankets for Emmett
• White noise via our Kindle Fire
• Chargers for the Kindle and my iPhone

I want to carry as little as possible with us, as I'll certainly have my hands full with Emmett. The stroller will help to lug the diaper bag, and if he tolerates it, the ERGO should be a lifesaver. I plan to dress him in warm pajamas, and have a pair of slip-on shoes handy in case he wakes up and wants to roam.

We have to change planes at 6:30 a.m. Georgia time, 3:30 a.m. AZ time. That should be interesting. I plan on using my boob to keep him asleep/drowsy/in the ERGO. We have about an hour layover in Charlotte, then it's a short flight to Savannah where we arrive at 8:30 (5:30 AZ time). It's going to be a long night. I don't sleep well (read: at all) on planes, but I'll be able to nap to my heart's content once we arrive in Savannah. Emmett has always slept pretty much the entire flight when we've travelled in the past, but he's so much older now, so we'll just have to see.

Do y'all have any last minute advice for me? I'm trying to be really thoughtful and deliberate about the things I bring with us on the flight. Do you think my list is complete? Am I bringing too much, or too little? I'd appreciate any help you can give me!

Travelling With Baby

I haven't been to Georgia since Christmas! It's been way too long. My parents and siblings visit us pretty often, but we have a huge family and tons of friends there who haven't seen Emmett since he was 6 months old. Ray and I will go for a week over Thanksgiving, but now that the Summer's winding down, I'm starting to yearn for a vacation. So, I've decided to fly home with Emmett over Labor Day weekend in a couple of weeks. Wooohooooo!

Here's my dilemma: I have Monday off and I'm able to take Tuesday and Wednesday, but that only leaves us with 5 days, two of those being travel days. So I'm considering flying overnight... alone... with Emmett.. Have any of you mama's tried an overnight flight? We would have one layover, which means changing planes at 4 am AZ time, 7 am Georgia time. Am I crazy?!

It's risky- Emmett never ever sleeps when I'm holding him, except on airplanes. I'm not sure if it's the white noise, or the movement, but he has slept like an angel every flight we've taken so far, so I'm hoping a night flight will be perfect for us. But I'll have to wake him up, get him to the car, drive to the airport, go through security, wait for the flight, then change planes in the middle of the night and do it all over again. It could be awful! But it would mean an extra full day with my family on Saturday so I think it's worth a try. 

I'd love to hear your travel stories- good and bad. What works for you? I'm thinking one bag, full of books and snacks, and an ERGO carrier to snuggle him to me all night.

Also, these buns!:

Life Is Good!

Things are good right now y'all. 

Not perfect, never perfect, but good. Work is slowing down, and I see an end to the busy season in sight. Yesterday we got some rain and the temperature never hit 90. We had dinner outside for the first time all Summer. Such a treat! And Emmett, oh Emmett. He's at a really great age right now. 

The last couple of weeks he's really changed and grown up. All of a sudden there's a little boy walking around our house, talking and laughing and interacting with us. He's a little human with a little (big) personality, and we're loving it so much. He seems bigger and taller this week too! It's crazy how that happens every couple of months.

Some new things he's doing lately:

• Reading. Devouring books, all day every day!
• Animal sounds. Cows, dogs, cats, ducks, and more and more dogs. Our house sounds like a zoo!
• Walking better and faster and steadier each day.
• Talking! He says mama and daddy and up, and making so many noises, having conversations with himself and with us. He's able to tell us what he wants and needs now.
• Reaching for me when I come in the door. He runs to me and reaches his little arms toward me. It's awesome!
• Sleeping through the night! Okay, it only happened twice, and he's been waking up at 5 every day, but he's never slept straight through before so I'll take it!

Every night Ray and I go on and on about how much we love that little boy and how great he is. We're smitten and so proud of him. 

So anyway I'm feeling good and life is good and it's nice to feel this way. It's been a long tough Summer but things are peaceful and joyful and sweet and I'm content. 

Five Faves (2?)

I'm linking up with Grace over at Camp Patton (no one's surprised, I know). She's hosting Five Favorites for Hallie and y'all know I can't resist a good link up!

1. This boy ya'll. He's perfect.

2. These girls. Love them! My sister Shea has been with us for almost a month now and will be heading back to college in a few days. I have really loved having her! Lucia will be back to take her place for another month or so, and then we are on our own for child care. Anyone have a recommendation for affordable, awesome childcare ideas? What works for you?

3. My husband has been waking up with the baby most mornings lately to let me catch some extra z's and it is changing my life. For the first time in a year I don't feel like a crazy half dead zombie. What a man I have.

4. The Fairy Blogmother is my hero this week. I was messing around with my blog layout the other night and I don't know what happened but all of a sudden the beautiful design Erika put together for me was gone and I couldn't get it back. DISASTER. I emailed Erika and she had everything back to beautiful in less than an hour. She's amazing! She added my About Me blurb at the top there too and we're working on a couple more little changes. I can't say enough good things about her!

5. This weekend my sisters and my friend Rachel and I are gonna hop into our Spaceship Coup for a trip to California to see JT and Jay Z. I can't wait to spend some quality time with those ladies and I can't even talk about how excited I am to see JT. I'm a fan girl y'all, big time. I'm leaving Emmett with Ray for the weekend (for the first time!) and we're all a little nervous. They'll do fine of course but I'm really gonna miss them. I know I know, Cry Me a River.

Sleep. Or you know, lack there of.

We miss sleep. We really, really, really miss it.

Emmett has never been a good sleeper. He goes to bed every night, like clockwork, between 6:30 and 7, and "sleeps" until 6 or 6:30. Or at least he did until this week. This week he's tired right on cue at 6:30, we do our normal bedtime routine- bath, lotion (we live in a desert, after all), prayers while I rock him and nurse him a little, and then lay him down with his pacifier while he's awake but sleepy. But then just when I think he's fallen asleep, he pops up again and plays in his crib for a few minutes before crying and crying until I go to check on him. I pick him up, give him a hug, he wants to nurse, so I sit down to rock him some more. Then he doesn't want to nurse, but wants to stand up and laugh and play. What is happening?!

He's never slept through the night. Never once. We've had a handful of nights where he only woke up once in the 12 hour night, but the usual is 2-4 wake ups. Okay the usual is 3-4 wake ups, but really usually 4 lately.

When he wakes up he won't go back to sleep until I pick him up, rock him and nurse him. Then he's out again in less than 5 minutes, easy peasy. If I don't go in and nurse him, or if Ray tries to go in and give him his pacifier and shush him back to sleep, Emmett will cry for an hour or (last night) two before I finally cave and go get him. Pick him up, give him the boob and then he's out within 2 minutes.

We've tried sleep training, we've tried letting him cry it out, we've tried it all. And it worked once, for about two weeks when he was 6 months old. He would still wake up 3 times a night, but he would let Ray go in and give him his pacifier and go right back to sleep. Then he started teething and became inconsolable unless I went in to nurse him back to sleep.

I'm not writing this because I want advice. I've come to realize that so many families have figured out ways to get their babies to sleep, but for us, I feel like it's too late. We missed the sleep training boat months ago, and now we're stuck with a terrible sleeper. My only hope is that one day (soon) our boy will just figure it out on his own, become less dependent on me to help him back to sleep, and he'll learn to go back to sleep on his own when he wakes during the night. Or not, and we'll continue to live on too little broken sleep. We've done it for almost a year now, so I guess we're pretty used to it, and it can't get much worse..... right?

The other part of all of this, and maybe the root cause of all of our sleep troubles, is separation anxiety. Emmett's and mine. We miss each other all day long, so when I'm home, baby boy just needs his mama. He takes really good naps every day, and puts himself to sleep for naps and for the night every day, so I know he can do it. But when he wakes up in the night, he just wants his mama. He wants me to hold him and comfort him. He just wants to know I'm there. I'm home. I haven't left him again.

It's heartbreaking. It's painful. It's hard. I'm so tired, so exhausted, so worn out, all the time. But I miss him just as much as he misses me, and I love the time we spend together in the night. Just the two of us, rocking and holding him tight.

We're getting even less sleep than normal this week, and I'm feeling like Emmett's separation anxiety is at it's peak. He seems desperate for attention from me when I'm home, so I'm doing my best to shower him with love and kisses and cuddles. I know he'll sleep better soon. We'll go from 4 wake ups to 3, then to 2, and one day he'll sleep through the night on his own. And then he won't be my little baby boy anymore, the one who needs his mama so much. He'll be big and strong and independent, and I'll miss these nights, hard as they are, so badly.

Taking a walk at 6 this morning, after a LONG night and a 5:30 wake up call. But the hat! Oh the hat.