Georgia was a roller coaster. It usually is, but this trip was different. In the past when I've taken Emmett to visit my family for a week, it has always been an incredibly welcome vacation from my stressful job, and a week that I get to spend with Emmett, all day every day. But this time, I work from home, and I spend most of my time with Emmett already. I struggled this time because it felt like doing what I always do, except in a different place where I don't have cleaning or cooking to do, or errands to run, so I felt sort of lost and unproductive. The first few days I relaxed, sat by the fire and read books, and enjoyed watching Emmett being spoiled by my family. But then in the middle of the week I began to feel restless, and so did Emmett.
He's in this phase where he needs me, crying "Mamamamamama" and clutching my legs while I get dressed or do laundry or get his lunch ready. He's started throwing tantrums when he doesn't get his way, and he's especially hard on me. He never fussed when he was with my parents or my brothers, but the moment he saw my face he'd start crying and yelling "mamama"until I picked him up, and even then he wouldn't calm down. He was getting so much attention from my family that he and I didn't get to spend a lot of time together, and I think he missed me (just like I missed him.) But the crying and tantrums began a few weeks ago. Y'all, it's wearing me out.
I try to be patient with him, but after hours of that fussing and pulling at me and needing my constant attention I wear down and my reactions become less than gracious and kind. Way less. That's when I begin to see how very selfish I am, deep down. I just want quiet, calm, peace. I just want to be able to put some make up on or brush my teeth without someone screaming at me and yanking on my legs. But then I look at his sweet little face, crying for his mama, just wanting me to hold him and love him and I feel so horribly awful for being frustrated with him.
So I'm working on that. On letting go of my own wants and needs and just being his mama. Just giving him as much love and attention as I possibly can so that he doesn't feel that desperation I hear in his voice when he cries for me. He's just a little guy, and I'm lucky to be needed.
Also working on: Discipline. We got to visit with Emmett's Godmother and her sweet little boy a few times this week. Her son is just a couple of months older than Emmett, so it's always fun to see what he's doing and saying because I know Emmett is right behind him. He hit Emmett once, and I was so surprised to see how is mama reacted. She picked him right up and brought him to a quiet spot in the room and told him that hitting is not nice, and promptly put him in time out. And he stayed! He stayed still, right where she put him, until she went back to him less than a minute later. She told him she loves him but he is not allowed to hit his friends, and then told him to ask Emmett to forgive him. And he did! He walked over and said he was sorry and gave Emmett a hug, and I was in AWE.
I had no idea that was possible. Up until recently, I haven't had to think much about discipline because Emmett is sweet and gentle and still such a baby, there was no need. But lately he is throwing tantrums and he runs away from me when we're out for walks or in crowded places. He doesn't listen when I tell him to stay with mama or don't go that way or let's walk this way please. I had no idea it was possible to discipline a child at his age, or how to do it! I've seen friends struggle with this too. My eyes are opened now though, and I can't wait to start working on the time out thing.
Emmett's Godmother told me the key is consistency, and ALWAYS following through when you give them consequences. If I tell him he needs to do as he's told and he ignores me, I have to put him in time out, every single time. I know it's going to break my heart, but I want Emmett to be disciplined. I want him to listen to me and to Ray, and to do as he's told, especially when we're in public or in dangerous situations. I know that I'll have to discipline him when he's older, so I'm really happy to have some ideas of how to start now so that when it really becomes an issue, I'll have the habits already formed in both of us.
Do y'all have any tips for beginning discipline with a young child?
Praying for: All of my friends who are expecting. And all of my friends who are hoping and praying for a pregnancy. Jesus, protect all the mamas and all of their babies. Give them health, peace, and long lives together. And bless all the mamas who are longing for children. Give them peace, joy, and hope. Pour out your blessings on them and grant them the desires of their hearts.
I have quite a few friends who are pregnant, some of them struggling. And a few who are desperately trying to get pregnant. I know the joy and the agony of both, and I pray for all of them constantly.
I hope all of you had a great weekend, and a gentle Monday easing you back into the work week. As always, I'm linking up with the lovely ladies at A Mama Collective to bring you this week's Currently. I hope you'll join us!
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I love your heart, friend. You are a beautiful mother and doing so many things right. We're going to mess up a lot of the time, but the "right" moments are true glory. You shine, and you're amazing. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. I loved this.
ReplyDeleteThank you Jenna! I'm so glad we're friends. You are so uplifting and gentle with me.
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